Chugging up communication hill.

	Teens often don’t understand their feelings.  Listen attentively to what they’re saying, then try to relay what you've heard back to them.
	Use “I messages” that communicate your feelings about the teen’s behavior rather than “you messages” that criticize and blame.
	Infants cry, children whine, teens argue. When your teen presses your anger button, tell him/her you won’t discuss the matter while you’re angry and remove yourself from the situation.
	Listen, don’t lecture. Guide, don’t direct.
	Get to know your teen’s friends. If they always seem to be getting into trouble, focus on your teen’s self esteem, not his/her friends.
	You are your teen’s best role model. Be aware of what you do and say. Admit to your mistakes.

Sometimes your teen must ride alone.

	Teens crave independence. Your job is to teach them responsibility.  Allow your teen to learn responsibility by letting him/her make decisions and reap the consequences of those decisions.
	Avoid being overprotective, but help your teen solve problems by exploring options and possible consequences with him/her.

Family Rules:  No standing while the roller coaster is moving.

	Establish family rules, but be fair and flexible. As your teen grows older and demonstrates more responsibility, adapt the rules to reflect the new maturity.
	Your teen is an intelligent and rational person. To avoid the “you don’t trust me” accusation, give intelligent and rational reasons for your rules.
	Be your teen’s best excuse when he/she needs to save face with friends. “My dad won’t let me go” is better than a car full of teens on a dark road with a case of beer.

Remember, you used to like roller coasters.

	Think about your own teen years. Are there unresolved issues that you had with your parents that you are now reliving with your teen?
	Talk to other parents about their issues and concerns with their teens.
	Regardless of what your teen years were like, times have changed. Learn about the issues that face teens today so you are better prepared to respond.
	The numerous books and brochures on teens reflect the complexity of this developmental stage.